Are You Setting Yourself Up to Fail?

• Perfectionism isn't a virtue—it's often a burden we carry and inadvertently pass to others

• Our achievements can unintentionally create pressure for our loved ones

• Self-compassion is the antidote to perfectionism's grip

• Every game doesn't have to be a win for the season to be successful

Mirror Mantra

I've been thinking a lot about perfectionism—that relentless internal critic that has both driven my success and, at times, held me captive.

It hit me during a recent family milestone. As I watched my children navigate certain pressures, I realized something profound: the standards I set for myself had quietly become expectations they felt they needed to meet.

Over the years, I've celebrated career achievements with my family—IPO bell ringings, awards, promotions—intending to inspire them and share moments of joy. But I've come to understand that what I meant as inspiration could sometimes feel like an impossible standard to live up to. What I intended as celebration had unintentionally become a weight.

This revelation changed how I approached my accomplishments at home. While I continued to pursue excellence, I became more intentional about how I framed success with my children. Their paths are uniquely theirs to forge (read my full article on breaking free from perfectionism and its unexpected consequences). 

But it's not just about how we show up for others; it's also about how we treat ourselves. The demands of perfectionism take a tremendous toll on our well-being. We often hold ourselves to impossible standards that we would never impose on others, creating a constant sense that we’re falling short. 

This relentless self-criticism limits our potential more than any external barrier ever could. As Jane Fonda's beautiful quote reminds us, we aren't meant to be perfect—we're meant to be whole. 

And wholeness embraces both our strengths and our flaws, our achievements and our struggles. When we can approach ourselves with this compassion, we not only feel better, we actually perform better.

Practice "Good Enough" in One Area of Your Life

This week, identify one area where perfectionism is draining your energy. Maybe it's triple-checking every email, agonizing over presentation slides, or feeling you must respond to messages within minutes.

Choose this one area to practice "good enough" instead of perfect. Set clear parameters for what constitutes "good enough" (for example, one careful proofread of emails rather than three), then stick to them.

Each time your perfectionist inner voice protests, counter with: "This is good work that meets the need. My value isn't determined by perfection."

Document how this shift affects both your productivity and your stress levels. How much time did you reclaim? How did it feel to release the perfectionist grip in this area?

Remember: perfectionism isn't excellence—it's often fear in disguise. Excellence thrives when we have the courage to be whole, human, and authentically ourselves.

Keep shining, 

Sheila