How I Give to Gain

• Giving is a gift in and of itself

• Ending generational patterns is one of the most powerful things we can pass on

• What you share can make a difference in your life just as much as it touches others

Sunday, March 8, was International Women's Day, and I’ve been thinking about its theme — Give to Gain — and what it really means to give. 

So many of us give because we remember what it felt like not to have what we needed. We give because we've learned that sharing power multiplies rather than diminishes it. That's what The Mirror Effect is rooted in: the idea that when you do the inner work and show up as your full self, you give others permission to do the same. And you get something too: a deeper understanding of your value and how much it can make a difference to others. 

I've been putting that into practice more literally lately. I'm donating copies of The Mirror Effect to student organizations and emerging leaders who need it. (If you're part of a group that could benefit from these books — especially women in biotech, medicine, or business — reach out. I'd love to get them into the right hands. The same goes for those who want to join me in donating!)

But I've also been thinking about a different kind of gift: what we choose not to pass down.

We all carry patterns from our families — ways of relating, communicating, and surviving. Some of those patterns served a purpose once. Some were never ours to carry. The work isn't about perfection or erasing where we came from. It's about awareness. About choosing what to pass forward and what to finally let stop with us.

Pass the best. Leave the rest.

That's giving to gain. Not just for ourselves — for the generations coming after us (read more on Substack by clicking here)

Power Move of the Week

Identify one pattern from your family or upbringing that you are consciously choosing not to pass forward.

It doesn't have to be dramatic. It might be how conflict was handled, or how emotions were expressed (or weren't). It might be an unspoken rule about who gets to take up space. Write it down. Then write what you're choosing to do differently — and what that gives to the people in your life.

If you're a leader: consider the patterns in your organization. What are you giving your team by refusing to replicate the environments that diminished you? prompt: What would change if I truly and deeply loved myself?

What’s next?

I'm moving my long-form writing to Substack and I'd love for you to join me there. It's where I'll be going deeper, getting more vulnerable, and building more of a real community around the ideas in The Mirror Effect. If you want more than just the highlights — full stories, messier reflections, longer conversations — that's where you'll find them. Subscribe here

The Mirror Effect audiobook is now available on Audible—your roadmap for building the life and leadership you actually want in 2026.

Set the intention. Press play. Let's begin.

[Listen now →] The Mirror Effect Audio Book

Have you seen my TEDx talk "Focus on the Mirror, Not the Glass Ceiling"? In it, I explore how finding the right mirrors—people who reflect our potential and validate our experiences—can transform our leadership journey. I'd be honored if you'd watch and share it with others who might benefit from this message.