One Thing Held Me Back For Decades

• A single mirror—even a brilliant one—can only show you one version of success

• The most important mirror you'll ever find is the one you hold up to yourself

• Sometimes honoring someone's legacy means creating your own path, not replicating theirs

Mirror Mantra

This week, I'm doing something a little different.

I wrote a piece for Deb Liu's Perspectives newsletter on Substack, and it might be one of the most vulnerable things I've ever shared publicly.

It's about my mother—a woman who did it all, brilliantly, seemingly without effort. For decades, I thought I had to be exactly like her. Until I realized that trying to replicate her reflection was the very thing holding me back.

Writing this piece forced me to sit with some uncomfortable truths—about the mirrors we choose, the ones we inherit, and about the moment we finally learn to become our own mirrors.

It felt important to write. And a bit terrifying to share.

So I invite you to read the full piece on Deb’s newsletter 

This week, identify one "mirror" in your life—someone whose reflection you've been trying to match. Ask yourself:

• What gifts did this person's example give me?

• What patterns have I unconsciously adopted that don't actually serve me?

• Where am I still trying to replicate their path instead of creating my own?

Write it all down: what you gained from their reflection, and what you need to release to become your own mirror. You can hold both gratitude and growth at the same time.

What’s next?

If this piece resonates with you, I'd love for you to share it with someone who might need to read it. Sometimes we all need permission to stop trying to be someone else and start seeing ourselves clearly.

And if you haven't yet, grab your copy of The Mirror Effect and the companion workbook—they're designed to help you do this work.

Keep shining,
Sheila

Have you seen my TEDx talk "Focus on the Mirror, Not the Glass Ceiling"? In it, I explore how finding the right mirrors—people who reflect our potential and validate our experiences—can transform our leadership journey. I'd be honored if you'd watch and share it with others who might benefit from this message.