What Girl Dads Keep Asking Me

• The men in girls' lives shape far more than we acknowledge

• Allyship isn't just a workplace concept; it starts at home

• Girl dads everywhere and the quiet but powerful work of showing up

When I wrote The Mirror Effect, I expected to hear from women. And I did — hundreds of them. What I didn't expect was the messages from dads.

Fathers asking how to talk to their daughters about what they're carrying at work. Dads who'd shared something I'd written with their daughters because they didn't have the words themselves, but wanted those girls and women to know someone did. One message in particular brought me to tears — a father who'd found my writing during his daughter's hard stretch and passed it along.

Another father told me he'd bought three copies of the book — one for himself, two for his daughters — and the three of them are reading it together and working through the companion workbook side by side.  More dads are telling me some version of the same thing: they've started noticing how often their daughters shrink, and they don't quite know what to do with that worry, so they're doing something — anything — instead of sitting with it. More often than not, they’re making themselves into mirrors and finding powerful reflections for their daughters when they can’t capture it all themselves. 

That's a girl dad's love, in action.

I see it up close too. My husband, Jordan, is an ER doctor — someone who runs toward chaos for a living. He's also a present girl dad and clear-eyed advocate for women, including for me on the days I forget to advocate for myself. He pays attention to our daughter. He takes her seriously. He makes sure she knows — before the world has a chance to tell her otherwise — that she is capable and she belongs.

The research backs up what I've witnessed: daughters with engaged, supportive fathers develop stronger confidence, greater resilience, and higher leadership aspirations. Studies show paternal support builds self-efficacy, and self-efficacy builds the willingness to take professional risks. To aim high and stay there.

But what gets me isn't the data. It's the dad up late looking up resources because he wants his daughter to believe in herself. Who passes what he learns along. Who buys three copies of a book because he wants better for his daughters than what he's currently seeing. Who shows up, even imperfectly, because he understands how much it means. The mirror matters most when someone holds it intentionally.

Happy Father's Day to the girl dads doing that work.

With love and gratitude for the dads, 

Sheila

If you have a father or father figure in your life — this week, tell them what they gave you. Name it specifically: "You told me I was smart before I believed it myself" or "You never flinched when I aimed high." If you are a girl dad — to a daughter, a niece, a mentee, any young woman in your orbit — this week, say something specific and true about what you see in her.

What’s next?

If you know a girl dad who wants to understand what the women in his life are carrying, The Mirror Effect makes a great gift.

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The Mirror Effect audiobook is now available on Audible—your roadmap for building the life and leadership you actually want in 2026.

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Have you seen my TEDx talk "Focus on the Mirror, Not the Glass Ceiling"? In it, I explore how finding the right mirrors—people who reflect our potential and validate our experiences—can transform our leadership journey. I'd be honored if you'd watch and share it with others who might benefit from this message.